


Whiteout

by Subatomic_grape



Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Drama, F/M, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-30
Updated: 2012-03-30
Packaged: 2017-11-02 17:57:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/371770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Subatomic_grape/pseuds/Subatomic_grape
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Minor AU.  M’gann tries to ignore what she is, but after being forced back into her natural form every muscle in her body wants to go back to what feels powerful and comes naturally to her.  It finally comes to a head when her team is threatened, and she is forced to choose between her shame, and their lives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at Young Justice fanfiction. Originally written for the Young Justice Anon Meme on LJ, and largely Conner and M'gann centric. YJ belongs to the original creators; I just wrote the story, and hope that you enjoy it. Thank you for reading!

Conner’s pain flares up bright in her mind, as his shoulder and back scrapes along the ground. M’gann flinches from it, feels like her own skin is getting floor tile and rock ground into it before she can properly tune out the sensations, enough to dodge to the side. A half second later, Conner goes flying past her, digging a furrow in the ground before rolling shoulder over shoulder as the drag starts to slow him down.

_‘Superboy!’_ She has the presence of mind to use his other name, but not to keep her mental shout from blaring loud. It makes Artemis, off to her side, flinch from the volume and it almost costs M’gann the time and concentration to pull the archer out of the way of a second attack. Artemis’ shot goes wide as she gets yanked out of the path of a chunk of building, missing the mark by feet.

Her target, a massive grey collection of wires and metal parts, still crouches in reflex. The silver along its body flows in an organic, liquid way that almost throws M’gann’s memory back to a place outside of the fight. Not quite the same as on Mars, but still uncomfortably similar. M’gann can’t help but notice that it seems to move a LOT faster then the team; perhaps not as fast as Kid Flash, but disconcertingly close. It certainly has the muscle to throw Superboy across the main hall-

And clear into a wall, as a loud smash and an angry grunt tells her. She can still feel that hurt trying to seep into her back and shoulder, but Conner’s anger drowns it out, along with a rush of _GETBACKUP_ as he pushes himself out of the new pile of rocks and shattered building.

Artemis’ missed shot doesn’t hit Aqualad by mistake, at least. (And she can hear the other girl’s mind relax for a moment, before going back into a tight, prickly ball that still makes M’gann hesitate to touch for too long.) The arrow skims far over his head as he rushes the android, weapons drawn and siphoning water from his pack, giving the grey metallic skin that coats his target a blue reflection as he brings them swishing down. She can feel his steadiness and determination to make those hits count for something, even with how tough the thing’s skin is.

“Toalf skcor dna elbbur!” Further back, away from the fighting, Zatanna’s words carry more force then her thoughts, loud and almost blunt where her mind is quiet and sharply focused. The spell makes the air ripple as the roof and walls of the shopping center stop crumbling. M’gann can just see the other girl’s eyes narrowed into slits as she keeps her focus on the chunks of building, keeping them suspended in the air and away from the people running towards the exit. A yellow and red blur zips back and forth, helping get the slower civilians out of the way while Wally’s thoughts rush past M’gann is a blur of _gogogo._ Working together, they both clear the area and leave plenty of space for the fight to play out; and give Robin the space he needs to move and throw clearly. The android tries to smash Aqualad into the floor and gets a back full of blades for its trouble. She feels, rather then hears a chuckle in her mind for a moment when the attacks all hit. The lights in the little red objects flicker for a moment…And then the robot gives itself a shake that M’gann is sure would break most normal bones, and the blades embedded in the skin go sliding off to clatter on the floor as that laugh in her head cuts out. The explosions could just as easily be flash bangs from the way it stays rooted in place.

It does stagger when a white blur launches through the air and buries teeth in the back of the robot’s neck with a **snarl** that M’gann can hear ring in her ears from clear across the hall. Wolf is harder to shake off then the batarangs, but even he gets wrenched loose; half thrown and half leaping away, and sliding along the floor without tearing a gouge in it the same way Conner did, legs splayed out and nails screeching on the tile. He still slips and almost falls over, and while Wolf’s mind doesn’t have the same nuance that the others do, she gets the impression from his growled thoughts that he doesn’t like fighting in here; it isn’t natural, compared to running and hunting outdoors.

From all she’s gathered, it isn’t a normal earth thing to fight robots in shopping malls. Go on dates there perhaps, or go shopping (and a small part of her cringes as Kaldur is thrown through a glass window with ‘Shoes!’ painted in bright cheerful letters above, and makes a mess of the footwear stacked on display cases inside; it seems like an appropriate Megan-thing to do) but not fight.

“M’gann!” She snaps to attention as Artemis shouts. “Aqualad needs cover fire, and I need YOU to put me down!” Her teammate’s voice is as harsh as her thoughts, almost barbed and raspy…But also focused on what needs to be done. M’gann gives a shaky nod and drops her to the ground. Artemis is already drawing an arrow as her feet hit the floor, her motions fast and fluid. No hesitation as she trains the arrow on the android, and then fires. It splits into three projectiles, two of which bounce off the thing’s skin, and the other misses completely. Artemis only watches them hit for a fraction of a second before she goes for another arrow, unfazed. A pounding of feet behind M’gann and Superboy charges past, not feeling any leftover pain trying to disrupt his thoughts or his speed.

Compared to them…Compared to **all** of them, she feels rough, and out of phase. Even her mind doesn’t feel right, as commands to move objects and people, or processing the orders Kaldur is giving across the link all come too slow and executed clumsily. Her hands feel heavy as she makes the gestures, and the nerves all through her aren’t firing right…Her whole body doesn’t _feel_ **right.**

-o-o-o-

This all should have felt right; a normal day for Megan Morse with just worrying about school. Perhaps possibly fretting over cheerleading if her heart needed a little extra jitter to make her fingers and toes tingle.

She was supposed to be just Megan. Normal Megan, off duty civilian Megan. It had been so easy to settle into that role just a week ago. Simple to just leave any worries M’gann might have behind, and with just one tiny channel open in her mind; a quiet, shallow stream at the edge of her thoughts where she could just hear and speak to Conner if she had to. Just enough of M’gann there to feel comfortable and have that welcoming whisper in her mind, but not drowning out the fact that she was on Earth. 

It was in morning period, as the teacher at the front droned on over a lecture, that she was hit with the extent of how nothing felt like it was supposed to; her mask hadn’t settled right. Her entire skin felt wrong, and started to crawl once that realization hit. 

Her hands shook as they tried to hold her pencil steady, suddenly feeling like five fingers were too many to keep track of. The muscles in her back all wanted to spasm and release at once, out of the confining shape she’d molded them into. The lecture rushed past her ears in a low pitched collection of syllables and mutters, and it was all she could do to stay as Megan, and stay in her seat. The pencil dug into her hand as her fingers ( _five_ she insisted, and kept the number and shape locked in her mind) wrapped around it. She was just aware of Conner sitting off to her right, and hoped that super hearing didn’t extend to picking up how every muscle in her arms and back felt like it was trying to twitch out of control-

In the corner of her eye, she thought that she could just see him turning to look at her, confused. Her chair went back with a screech as she suddenly stood up, and bolted for the door. 

“Going to throw up!” She blurted out the first excuse she could think of as she ran for the hallway and an empty room. In a way that wasn’t even a lie; her stomach was squirming along with the rest of her, and a nervous, nauseating dry feeling was settling in her mouth.

The fact that she remembered Megan Wheeler using a similar excuse in episode four was mostly a coincidence. 

Mostly.

No one stopped her, and she raced for the bathroom while whispering over and over to herself that no, her legs were going to stay the same shape, and she wasn’t going to get there any faster if they WERE different.

Her last steps were more of a stagger then a run, and she had to prop herself up on the sink with shaky arms to stare in the mirror.

Megan was looking back at her; Caucasian, not chalky white, with amber eyes instead of red. Her hair dangled over her face, disheveled, but it was still there. She forced herself to breathe in deep, riding out the spasms and lurches in her body, until she could finally settle.

_“M’gann?”_ Came Conner’s voice, right as she heard a knock on the bathroom door and a nervous “Megan?” from Wendy on the other side.

“I’m fine,” she tried to sound as confident of that as possible, both in her voice and her thoughts. “Just…Just ate something that didn’t like me.”

_‘Didn’t agree with you’_ the correction came a second too late, but neither Conner or Wendy commented on it. After a moment she could hear Wendy stammer out a cautious “Alright,” and Conner slowly drift away from her thoughts. Leaving her with staring at the mirror again, and hearing her breath rasp in lungs that still felt more fluid then solid.

She thought it would have been easy enough to ignore what had happened in Qurac, at least in school. Her muscles though…They remembered what came naturally to her, and after that brief lurch of being back in her old body, wanted to go back to what felt the most familiar.

_‘NO.’_ That thought was private, limited to just her mind. The same way the whisper that hissed out between her teeth was meant only for her ears. Both had the effect of shoving any left over tenseness as far out of her thoughts and away from her skin as possible. She wasn’t going back to that shape, especially not when and where she was supposed to be normal Megan.

Not where Conner was as well-

Megan pushed herself back upright, telling her body to stay locked into what it was supposed to be. And it would stay that way, even if she had to keep a mental replay of every episode of _Hello, Megan!_ going through all of class.

-o-o-o-

It's surprising how M’gann can still hear the soft patter and clink of glass being tossed aside or broken underfoot off to her left. Especially over Superboy tackling the robot with a loud crash of charging superhero meeting metal, and throwing them both into the other wall of the mall entrance hall.

She’s reminded of her first real mission and fight on Earth, at Happy Harbor. She finds herself hoping there won’t be as much damage this time, but when Superboy bulls the android into a pillar and makes the entire upper walkway groan as the support shatters, M’gann isn’t so certain.

M'gann turns to see Aqualad already standing up and brushing himself off, shedding any grains of display glass still on him. A quick mental brush, and she can’t feel anything worse then bruises from him. And despite just making a mess out of the display case, he doesn’t let any agitation cling to him; anything that is there settles out, ripples getting absorbed into a larger, calmer body of his thoughts.

She pulls away as he runs back into the thick of the fight, trading places with Superboy when the android throws itself forward, out of the rubble. Conner gets chucked off again, but doesn’t get thrown along and into the ground; he hits the floor controlled, feet first and goes sliding back, keeping most of his balance. The momentum still works against him, pushing him too far and too fast out of range. Wolf doesn’t close either, staying close to Conner; she can hear the vague suggestion of pack dominating his mind, and the determination of keeping at least one thing constant and natural…Which still leaves the robot without someone to close with it.

That’s probably when Aqualad should engage. But instead he rushes past. In another second M’gann realizes where his focus really is; the fountain in the middle of the mall plaza, which has more then enough water to fuel his attacks.

They can do this, she reminds herself. Even if this is some “next gen” (as Wally put it) robot, once Kaldur gets more fuel, they’ll have the edge-

The android holds a hand, palm out and fingers spread to show a hole carved into the hand, and it’s only NOW that M’gann remembers what sort of technology is built into the thing. A projectile, long and javelin like, whistles out of its hand. Her own hands move too slowly, her fingers not listening and the motions clumsy, while the weapon passes through her telekinesis with a low thrum. It doesn’t pass through Aqualad though, burying itself in his side before he can reach the water, spearing him to the ground.

-o-o-o-

As it turned out, she only needed to go from episode one to episode seven of the series before Megan had enough confidence that her hands would stay the right shape, and could feel her back starting to settle. Not relax, but her shoulder blades and torso weren’t bunching up any longer. Conner was silent the entire time, other then a cautious _”You okay?”_ or two. And each time she gave a slight nod, which seemed to keep him satisfied.

She tried not to move around much, and not test her limits until the bell finally rang. When Megan finally stood up her legs and arms felt awkward; heavy and clumsy, more like lead weights then proper, light and slender limbs-

_‘They’re fine.’_ She assured herself. _‘They’re shaped how they need to be, and they’re better this way.’_

That didn’t get them to move how they should have, though. Not when she left homeroom, and not when she reported to field for practice. She couldn’t remember Megan Wheeler ever being unable to do a basic handstand; falling over a lot, yes, but never being _slow_ about any of it.

“You sure you’re okay?” Wendy could sound a lot like Conner when she wanted to. She could also pull off that same, slightly concerned, mostly doubtful expression, although Wendy didn’t scowl nearly as much when she did it.

“Y-yeah.” That didn’t do much to convince her friend, though, and Megan fumbled for something that hopefully would. “Just...” With a sudden burst of relief, her thoughts latched onto something.

“Oh, just worried about finals! You know how it is, this late in November; have to juggle so much and try not to drop any of it!” That at least earned her a cautious smile.

“Yeah, well…Make sure you don’t drop yourself on your head. You could stop early, if you want; it’s not like we’re going to be practicing in the next few weeks anyway.” While a small part of Megan wanted to object and say she could work with the team, the rest of her nodded, and sent her moving for the showers.

Conner was waiting for her when she came back out. In the back of her head, she could faintly remember him watching from the bleachers, which gave her a much needed smile…Although what he said next almost wilted it.

“You don’t seem alright. What’s wrong?” When she hesitated, he pressed further. “Is this about what happened in Qurac?”

_‘Please don’t ask that-‘_ She just caught herself from broadcasting that thought, and felt her mind and her throat go still. She didn’t want to answer that correctly, but she didn’t want to tell him no, either; she was already lying enough.

“Just a little tired.” M’gann answered instead. She also let her thoughts slip into a different order, trading one name out for another once the conversation drifted away from school. “I wouldn’t mind heading back for some rest; that should make me feel better!” And to prove it, she worked a little pep into her voice, and held her eye contact with him. “Maybe study a little-“

His lips twisted down into a frown at that. “You know all that stuff already. Better then I do.” The doubt was back in his voice. “I’ve seen you read anything about Earth you can find.”

M’gann wanted to find someway to argue that, until she felt him resting a hand on her shoulder.

_“M’gann,”_ Even after all of the missions, she could still feel caution lingering his thoughts as he tried to make contact. _“You know that I’ll help if I can, right?”_ She could feel that worry in his thoughts…Worry for her, and that sensation made a sick feeling settle in her chest, the same way it made her feet light and want to lift off the ground-

_‘Floating isn’t normal here.’_ The thought, ugly and jagged in contrast to Conner’s steadiness, cracked across her mind. Having that **want** to let his thoughts lift her up only made it worse.

“Can we head back now?” M’gann found herself asking as she pulled away. “Like I said, I’m just feeling tired is all.” That last, at least, didn’t feel like a lie, as fatigue suddenly dug into her chest, and tried to pull her down.

-o-o-o-

“Regnorts enots, regnorts enots, regnorts enots,” Zatanna is repeating, her focus on the wall that now has more dents and holes in it then support. Her voice echoes, and that groan from the upper levels lessens a bit as plaster and dust stops raining down on them; if nothing else, they don’t have to worry about the building dropping on their heads. Not when there’s already Kaldur to worry about.

He’s not getting up. When M’gann touches Aqualad’s mind, she can feel the cut and metal in his side…Radiating heat through him as well, with the metal a point of white hot agony that makes it impossible for him to move or even THINK-

She pulls back, before the heat can sear her as well. Robin is shouting something across everyone’s minds while her thoughts spin from the heat, and then she sees him and Kid Flash both exchanging a look. They both rush the android, Robin to distract and Wally to help Aqualad. Artemis moves into a better line of firing as well, until another one of those javelins forces her back and into cover behind an escalator. The concrete sides fracture as the javelin buries into it, and M’gann can hear an angry growl of a thought as Artemis gropes for an arrow that her tumble forced her to let go of.

M’gann pushes herself forward as well. The fight has moved well away from her, and with Kaldur down while Superboy and Wolf are yards away, M’gann realizes that she needs to help as well.

Her feet leave the ground easily enough, but she wavers in the air as she tries to move forward. Her skin feels…Tight. Stretched too thin over her frame, too fragile for what’s about to happen. And a part of her mind urges her to change that.

_‘No, I can’t…’_ She presses back against those thoughts and impulses that scream for her to change back, into something that can fight better.

_‘They’ll hate me-‘_ M’gann remembers the image of them recoiling from her. It makes her sick in a way that the churning in her stomach and bile rising up in her throat from her body straining at the seams can’t hope to match.

She can feel her heart pounding, wanting to split in two from the way it hammers and strains against her chest. Her breath comes out ragged, loud and echoing in her ears as she tries to steady herself and _stay in control._

Only that’s a lie, because she _isn’t_ in control; not when she can still feel her skin trying to go tight and peel away into something more sleek and skeletal…Not when she stumbles mid-flight as her stomach gives another lurch, and she sees Robin mistime a leap and get caught in one of those metal coated hands. He’s already going for another blade, but the machine reacts before he can, and sends him hurtling into Wally in a speed she _knows_ can’t be good for his body. They crumble to the ground, close to Kaldur as the team suddenly drops from eight to five.


	2. Part 2

True to her word, M’gann went straight for her room once they reached the base. Or at least, as straight to her room as side passages would allow, and not making any eye contact with the few people she did see. The look Conner gave her was still lingering in her mind, and felt eerily similar to that phantom. It wasn’t much of a step from suspicious to furious, from what she’d observed.

She didn’t want to encounter that expression on anyone else today. Or anyone else, ever, if she had a choice in the matter.

Ten steps into the hallway, and M’gann let her skin shift back to green. It tingled for a moment, almost resisting the change and wanting to go a step lighter then darker. But as it swept up from her feet and across her face, M’gann thought that she felt slightly less tense.

_‘This doesn’t feel right.’_ Not just how her hands stayed as tight balled fists, but also avoiding people. That wasn’t how a day after school was supposed to go. Staying away from her team…From her friends wasn’t normal. 

M’gann promised herself that this was only temporary; she just needed a little bit of breathing space for a few hours. Enough to focus, get her thoughts back in order (and put her fears back in the very corner of her mind, where they belonged) and then it could be back to watching TV in the den while making cookies. But first, some privacy.

She saw Robin and Zatanna on the way, and they both gave her a startled look as she moved by. For her part, M’gann gave them what she hoped was a happy smile and a small wave. Happy to keep both of them feeling good…And to keep from asking any questions, like what she was doing there. With that done she tried to walk down the hallway in a manner that didn’t feel like running, even though a part of her wanted to do just that.

_‘Stay calm.’_ She told herself that until she reached the door, repeating it over and over like a meditational focus. They’d just looked confused and surprised; not disgusted, or afraid. She just had to keep it that way, for as long as she could.

_‘You can’t keep that secret locked away forever.’_ A nasty thought flickered in her mind. _‘Hiding it is going to end the same way as avoiding people in halls; sooner or later, they’re going to see you.’_ A flicker of red in her mind’s eye, and she could see them edging away, staring at her-

M’gann pushed open the door, and stepped inside, trying to leave those thoughts outside.

-o-o-o-

_‘Wait-!’_ M’gann starts to say, but the fight is moving on, too fast for her to keep up. Her limbs feel like lead, and her thoughts move sluggishly as her mind tries to manage everything; keeping the link up, trying to grab people out of the way (she just manages to pull Zatanna away from another of those spears, and winces as she hears it go whistling past Zatanna’s ear) and keeping **herself** in the right shape.

She sets Zatanna back down, NOT dropping her. She's not fully certain if the magician has the same agility Artemis does, and doesn’t want to chance it.

_"Thank you,"_ Zatanna still spares her a quick, soft thanks. The thought is warm when it brushes against her mind. It makes a similar soft feeling bloom in her chest, slowing her heart for a fraction of a second.

She can’t afford to dwell on it, though. Zatanna keeps her eyes on the robot, and a few feet to the left, M’gann can pick out Artemis as well. Superboy is rushing forward, but they need something to keep the machine occupied. _“So. It’s fast, strong, and it can attack from a distance. Zatanna, try slowing it down.”_

Zatanna nods to Artemis, raises her hands, starts to murmur a spell as M’gann feels the air begin to heat up. (And she can’t help but take a step back, then, even though she knows Zatanna has excellent control over where she throws her spells.) And it looks like the android doesn’t, know about magic and defending against it, as a ball of fire speeds towards it-

Then it raises an arm, as something in a circuit pattern glows along it and makes M’gann’s hair stand on end as the air crackles around it. When the fireball slams into a solid wall of electricity and gets deflected, M’gann feels her heart speed right back up from that lull.

_“M’GANN!”_ Artemis shrieks in her head. Her thoughts are full of confusion, demanding why M’gann isn’t doing what she’s supposed to, coupled with a plea for her to hurry up and _help-_

The fireball gets thrown off course, the android’s arm still glowing blue and crackling. Artemis tenses, trying to get out of the path, and M’gann forces her thoughts into a rough sort of order with an angry wrenching motion that also brings her hands up. When she grabs Artemis, it’s also a rough motion; she doesn’t so much pull the other girl out of the way as _throw_ her when the fire slams into a patch of ground…And thankfully just ground. Artemis may feel a little singed from the heat, but that’s the worst of it.

Artemis tumbles out of the throw, skidding along the floor as she goes for another arrow. Neither of them take her momentum into account, but the android does, letting her slide into the next attack as it holds out an arm and lets another projectile fly. M’gann didn’t think it HAD weapons built into both arms, as the weapon suddenly explodes into a heavy mesh that wraps around the archer, throwing her back into one of the few standing columns with a _crack._

It doesn’t even wait for a reaction from them, pivoting and scoping a hand along the ground, scrapping up a collection of shattered tile and concrete. As it straightens, it throws the rubble at Zatanna. The other girl is still staring at Artemis, and M’gann tries to move towards her, get a barrier up to take the blow for her.

“Shield- Dleihs!” Zatanna tries to say, but her words are slurred. Both of the shields ripple for a moment, slowing the rocks…But not stopping them as they punch straight through as shards of stone. Some of them cut into her, and one crunches hard into her shoulder with a stomach turning, splintering sound. The magician drops to the floor as well, and the android turns to the three left.

Wolf crouches low to the ground, lips lifted to show his teeth. Superboy has a similar grimace, ready to spring as well. And M’gann…She stares, looking at all five of her teammates scattered along the ground. Kaldur and Artemis brought down by weapons, Robin and Wally through strength, Zatanna from speed-

And then it clicks, and she realizes just what sort of research was being borrowed, and from who.

_“Superboy…It mimics. It doesn’t have powers, but it mimics attacks.”_

A snarl cuts through the air before he can respond, or she can say more. Wolf launches at the robot, but it sees him coming…Sees that it’s a similar attack from before, and drops before twisting around, grabbing Wolf by the throat. Electricity crackles off him and arches through the canine. Wolf howls, Superboy yells out his name, and M’gann flinches as Wolf drops to the ground with a painful thud, paws twitching and a low whine coming from his throat.

Leaving just two.

-o-o-o-

Her room offered some small, small solace; if nothing else, it was private. Her eyes paused on the poster hanging on the far wall, the words ‘Martian Manhunter’ picked out in bright red. One part of M’gann wished that her uncle was there, instead of up in the Watchtower; he might have known what to do, had some form of meditation for calming down, or at least offer a shoulder to rest on for a moment.

The other part of her couldn’t get his voice out of her head; it wasn’t afraid or disgusted like those other phantoms, but it was disappointed and regretful. In many ways, that was just as bad, and she found herself not wanting to give him even the faintest reason for feeling any of that. Or sending her away, even if it meant staying in her room and apart from the everyone. A few feet of rock wall between herself and the others was better then 250 million miles of space.

M’gann’s eyes darted over to the picture resting above her bed at that thought. ‘Picture’ actually might have been a misnomer; it was more poster sized then anything else, with a silvery cratered disc taking up the lower half of the picture, while a blue and white streaked sphere floated in black. The words ‘EARTH’ were stamped across the bottom in gold capital letters, looking more dignified then cheerful. She still liked looking at it anyway, as a reminder for why she was here, what all she’d achieved-

How much of it she could _lose._

The frame rattled as, by reflex, she tried to give it a telekinetic pull off the wall. Do what with it, she doesn’t know- Until she got the image of throwing it to the side, hard enough to shatter it and wipe one more reminder away.

_‘Stop it.’_ Along with _‘Stay calm’_ ran through her mind as she cut out that idea. That wasn’t her; she wasn’t going to cause violence like that when it wasn’t needed.

Looking at the glass sheen of the frame, M’gann could remember how those glass screens had been easy enough to break; it was just that there was so MANY of them to take care of. But she had let the waves of force roll off her, turning those monitors into a dark collection of broken glass and electronics as she stamped out her image, screen by screen.

_‘Stop it! That wasn’t the same. I HAD to do that.’_ M’gann reminded herself. The same way she’d had to attack her friends before they could see-

She tore her eyes away from the picture and threw the bed sheets over her head, closing her eyes. Rest and peace of mind was still a long time in coming, with that snarl of anger still curled up at the front of her mind.

-o-o-o-

Her blood roars in her ears as she looks over the bodies of her teammates. She can still feel their thoughts, flickering, weak and half aware as they try to break back into consciousness, but still there; still alive.

It doesn’t do much for the hot, horrible sensation clamping down around her chest and her head. It burns like fire, drives her thoughts out of her mind the same way seeing an open flame does…But it doesn’t make her feel weak. She can just remember feeling this level of raw, churning anger before, in that dark theater and when she’d been pushed back into the corners of her mind. How it settled into her to make her strong-

How it keeps pressing at her to hurry up and shed her form. It howls at her, tries to drive her forward and feels too big, too powerful for Megan’s body.

_‘Is this how Conner feels when he fights?’_ A small thought manages to squeeze those words into the red mist her mind is trying to spiral into. It certainly feels like it could be true; she’s felt that rage running off of him before (as he screamed at her _GETOUT_ ) and she looks to him now to see if the same is happening to him.

It isn’t. When she reaches for him, she can feel tension rolling off of him in waves, but he keeps a tight grip on his anger. It isn’t the same consuming thing he feels, and realizing that makes the feeling flicker and die long enough for her to realize what it’s doing to her. She doesn’t _want_ it to drive her into a frenzy like that; doesn’t want Conner or the others to see what it could do to her.

-o-o-o-

Her smile felt oddly tight and thin on her face, no matter how long she kept it in place. It didn’t seem to want to settle in, or feel natural…But M’gann wore it anyway, hoping that persistence would be rewarded.

No one remarked if the cookie sheet wobbled a bit when she set it into the oven. Her control still felt off-balance from using human hands, but it was still better to use telekinesis then grapple with the oven mitts, and the heat coming out of the oven. The cookies still slid into the oven without her dropping any, and the rest of the team never glanced towards the kitchen.

Standing there is a false skin felt odd, but it didn’t feel **horrible** the same way being alone and apart did; after a few hours of restless tossing and turning that afternoon, she finally pushed herself out of bed and took the few wobbly steps to the door and the rest of the base. It was easier to feel better, being around people, and better then being alone with a collection of fears that didn’t want to be quiet. 

So she remained off to the side, claiming to be keeping an eye on the food in the oven…In reality, keeping one eye on everyone without it looking like she was staring. She was going to memorize all that she could; how Robin had a habit of pushing up his sunglasses when he went for the remote, and how Zatanna kept her fingers loose and limber with how she turned the pages of the TV guide. The way Conner frowned at the books Kaldur offered before picking them up and giving them a similar, concentrated scowl. Or how Wally and Artemis both kept giving each other side glances when they were sure no one was looking. She watched all of them, trying to soak in as much as she could without actually brushing up against their minds.

And when she was able to pull the latest batch out of the oven and set them out for the team…She was going to treasure the smiles it got her, and how watching them made her own feel a little less tight and forced.

Robin was the last to leave that evening, and paused near the counter as she took out the rags for cleaning up the kitchen.

“You’ve been baking for the team a lot lately.” He observed, leaning with his arms on the counter while a foot pulled up a chair. For her part, M’gann stayed quiet and focused on sending one cloth into the soapy dish water to soak while grabbing the other out of the air.

“And I’m not complaining; I _know_ Wally doesn’t mind either, but I’ve got to ask why.” She thought she could just hear him asking ‘Is this a M’gann thing, or a Megan thing’ from the way he glanced around the kitchen.

“You’re my friends. And family,” she replied quietly. “And I love all of you.”

“I get the feeling you love Conner best,” Robin remarked, with just a slight tease in his voice, and which made her blush and glance quickly down at the counter. 

“…Only a little more.” She could at least be honest about saying that, M’gann reminded herself, although she didn’t dwell on it long. “I like being able to do something for you all…And seeing you happy.”

Another pause, and while she couldn’t see past those dark glasses, M’gann thought that she could still place that look on his face; how his head was tilted forward, eyebrows slightly knitted together. She’d seen it before on missions, while he was examining something.

“And it’s something _I_ like to do, too.” She offered as the quiet stretched out, and thought that got a very slight nod from him, and a less intent look. “It also makes me feel better-“

Almost too much, she realized as his head came up. “Better? About what?”

That smile on her lips was back to feeling strained again; so was the laugh she tried to work up. “O-oh, just feeling better about…” M’gann desperately grasped for something that wasn’t related to how her stomach was feeling just then, or was making her hands shake as she grasped the rag tight between her fingers. “…Things.” She finished lamely, and put her focus on the counter as she traded out cloths.

“I should see about cleaning this up. Don’t want a messy kitchen, right?” He didn’t answer, but she also didn’t look up, focusing on a particularly stubborn glob of flour. A few seconds later she heard the chair squeak as he got up, followed by footsteps fading away from her. She let her face relax a little then. And get the counter into a better state.

-o-o-o-

M’gann stares across to where Conner stands, trying to get her heart to beat a little more slowly. (Heart. Still a single heart, and there’s a brief flush of pride when she realizes her control is still there.) She knows that it can’t have been more then a few seconds since Zatanna and Wolf hit the ground, but it feels like they’ve been caught in a time warp where that stretches out to forever...And even with that adrenaline fueled slow speed, M'gann _still_ can’t figure out what to do.

She can’t pick up any semblance of a plan from Superboy, either. But that doesn’t stop him from leaping at the android with a roar and slamming a fist into it. And while M’gann doesn’t have a plan, she knows she can’t let him fight alone, and tries to jump forward as well.

Tries to. Her feet feel like they’re glued to the floor, unable to move fast enough or get underneath her quick enough to make that jump, and keep her balance. Definitely not quick enough to dodge again when Superboy is half thrown, half jumps away and crashes into her.

Her mind moves slightly faster, and keeps them from hitting the floor. They float for a brief moment, before M’gann finds her center and sets them back down. He shoots her a confused look, and she can feel the briefest brush of _"Why"_ in her head before he lunges again.

Why hadn’t she been able to move out of the way that time? Her thoughts are jumbled, making it hard enough to lift herself up, let alone pick a direction OR react in time.

And in a different answer, her feet take the opportunity to remind her just how cramped they feel with five toes jostling for space, instead of a simple number like three. The same as how her torso feels constricted under the tight, unyielding skeleton she keeps forcing into shape. How can she NOT move sluggishly when all of those things are wrong, and not a natural fit for her mind?

It doesn’t have to be that way, a stray thought reminds her. She could shed this form for something BETTER to fight with, and give that anger still boiling in her mind a proper outlet-

_‘No! I can’t, I can’tIcan’tIcan’tI-‘_ The thoughts run together into a high pitched buzz. Superboy is back to going toe to toe with the android, and for a flicker of a second M’gann thinks that she can see sparks arcing off the robot’s skin under the force of Conner’s punches. A crackle along the shoulder, where she can just remember Kaldur striking, a series of sparks along the back that could have matched Robin's attacks.

M’gann forces her body up into the air, taking as many deep breaths as she can and urging it to _stay_ in that shape. In the corner of her mind she hears Artemis give a tiny, confused groan, then a gasp as she starts to take in her surroundings and struggle against the net. It shouldn’t be long before the others come to as well, which is just more reason for her to stay as she is.

She can make this work. She can-

Shock tears those thoughts up as a hand clamps around Conner’s neck. And M’gann realizes that she can’t fight at _all_ now; not at the caliber she needs to. She tries to wrench at the android to knock it aside, and the telekinetic pull dissolves into the air before leaves her hands. Long before it ever reaches her target.

Conner _howls_ , the same as Wolf when that electric current cuts through him. M’gann screams at her hands to move properly, to WORK, and tries again, this time pulling at Conner. She has to get him away from that pain, has to-

Superboy moves, but only because the robot turns and smashes him into the rubble. He looks oddly weak from that blue light flickering across him-

It isn't just from the sparks, and M'gann feels her breath rush out of her lungs and feels a fissure start to split down her heart when she realizes that she can't feel any air moving through Conner's. What’s more, she can feel Conner’s thoughts slowing down, the energy leaking out of his head as that current numbs his muscles and a hand crushes around his throat.

The android doesn't drop him or throw him this time, instead pushing him into the wall and holding him there. He hits the concrete with a shudder, and doesn’t even struggle as the robot looms over him. His eyes are still open but only half focused, fixed on an arm as it morphs into something long and jagged. She can still feel Artemis trying to get back up, followed by Robin starting to flicker back into awareness, along with Wally and Zatanna, but it’s all going too _slow_ for them to do anything.

_‘He’s going to die.’_ The thought echoes and snaps through her mind with a slap. _‘They’re all going to die. And I can’t-’_

The thought flickers out as the arm is raised up for that last blow. And all of the hesitation in her mind burns away as she pictures Conner bleeding out and dying, the presence in her mind going quiet, followed by the rest of her friends. It terrifies her, and drowns out any mental images from her other fears.

M’gann throws back her head and lets her body wrench control away from her mind, feeling her heart cry out as it splits. From how it hurts, it feels like it should be shattering into a thousand pieces instead of two components. Her arms shed all that muscle she can’t use, the same as her legs, while her chest gains all the strength and mass she’s been lacking for too long. Her jaw wrenches itself open as all her teeth go sharp, and M’gann doesn’t bother to stop the half roar, half wail that comes out from her throat.

Everything slows down, _stops_ as people hear her. And it all stays slow, moving around her in a blurry, lazy haze while her body crackles with a sudden burst of energy. Whatever is weighing the rest of the world down doesn’t apply to _her_ now, as she tears free from the ground.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, M’gann curls up and cringes away from the sensations now flooding her mind, and she hates herself. For being so weak that she needs to be like this in order to fight, for giving into it. But she hates that thing, and what it has done to her friends far more.


	3. Part 3

A part of her missed this. Having the proper balance, the strength in her torso and arms, and her head no longer confined behind a layer of too thick, too malleable flesh. The heaviness leeches out of her limbs when she leaves the floor in a lunge, throwing herself at the android. She smashes into it with a crunch, before it can ever bring its arm down to complete the attack.

Long arms and claws give her the advantage when it comes to reach. Her hand lashes out, hooks around an ankle just like Black Canary taught her...Only this time she doesn't have to worry so much about momentum to bring her enemy down, just has to flex her muscles and pull with her arm as she contracts her grip. There’s a scraping crash as she sweeps the foot out, and the entire body (more importantly the arm that was supposed to deliver an attack, she realizes with a jolt of fierce satisfaction) hits the floor hard enough that she can feel it through her toes, just touching the ground.

Superboy drops to the floor as well, heavy enough that it feels like the ground shakes when he hits it. There’s a split second where M’gann can feel his breath get smashed out of his lungs. Followed by several shaky gasps as his sides start moving again.

She turns back to look at the damage, in time to see that the android is already twisting itself up, hand out and palm cavity open to fire something. She can look right into the dark socket, and see something come rushing out, aimed straight at her face.

Pressure builds in her head, and she lets it go in a blast of energy, sweeping around her face and shuddering as the attack slams into it. A split second and she can see a network of lines and breaks spreading through the spear before it shatters against her shield.

The next second the other foot strikes at her legs, and that balance that had felt so rooted breaks. She regains it a second later as she lets go of the leg to catch herself, hands first. It’s only a slight shock that runs up her arms, getting absorbed before it ever reaches her shoulders. She lets herself drop down, closer to the ground as the android shoves itself back upright, weapon swinging down on her head this time.

She doesn’t allow it time to connect, but doesn’t pull away either. Instead she moves in close, feels it bounce off her shoulder in a way that tears at the skin running between her arm and back; but it’s superficial at best. M’gann doesn’t dwell on it, throwing herself upright and clamping down on her target (enemy, the still burning section of her mind insists) with a talon, this time on the arm. Both her fingers dig in tight over the bicep as her hand contracts, and the other slashes down to hook around the neck.

She can see the sparks arcing off from that cut slashed into where arm meets shoulder. _‘Kaldur’_ she remembers for an instant, before the sparks try to bite at her skin. The claw of her hand squeezes tight around the upper arm, and she narrows her eyes until her world is just that tear…And she reaches out with her third, mental hand to make that rend and chink in the armor larger. She can feel the mesh, that synthetic skin that is far less real then what she was wearing, begin to tear at the edges. Her hand pulls, her mind pushes, and the metal bone between her claws gives a high, squealing whine before breaking with a snap and shower of sparks. M’gann wrenches as the last of the of the resistance gives way with an almost wet tearing sound, and it’s suddenly the easiest thing in the world to make that flex with her hand and her thoughts, and let the arm go sailing clear of the body and far away. One less thing that can be used to hurt them. Her body twists with the motion, turning her away for a moment.

Her target-enemy doesn’t feel pain the same way the rest of them do, as it rebalances and swings at her. The lack of an arm for balance slows it, however, and she…SHE is in the right shape, her balance still sure, and every muscle ready to react.

Her back still stings, but she barely feels it. All of her thoughts are now bent on those last holes caused by Robin, and the weakness she can feel radiating from the torso thanks to Superboy’s attacks. 

It was harder the first time, slipping her awareness into those tears and then letting her thoughts flex. She understands how to go about it now, can send her thoughts through a wider area. The body shakes from the pressure building in her head, and when both of her arms slam into the torso. She pushes forward, pinning the android against the wall just a few feet away from where Superboy was. Her hands slide through the skin like a pair of knives, and when she feels them touch something that spits and bites with far more force-

She knows she has what acts as the thing’s heart, and tears back with both her arms and her thoughts. There is a moment of resistance against both of them, but it doesn’t matter; she is strong, powerful. And the thing in front of her can’t keep her thoughts from blasting its back out, through those holes Robin had punched through. Neither does it have any wiring left to keep M’gann from ripping out whatever is powering her enemy, and let it fall broken to the ground. And as it clatters to the floor in pieces, M’gann feels a fierce pride swelling through her. She has won-

 _“M’gann?”_ Her name cuts through that buzz of adrenaline, slows the pounding of her hearts so that she can hear the confusion in that thought. Like the one thinking it isn’t fully sure it’s her, can’t connect the name with what they see.

 _‘Lost.’_ M’gann feels the word echo through her. Lost everything.

-o-o-o-

Her face stung as she crashed into the floor. A light buzzing sound filled M’gann’s ears as the circle flared up around her, marking where she hit the training tiles. Above her, Conner stared down, eyes wide and startled. Confusion settled over him, a thick and heavy fog that made it hard to pick out any thoughts that didn’t start with ‘what’ from him.

“Hey!” Robin, if he felt any of the same, didn’t let it settle over him the same way. His alarm was sharp, almost like a siren. “What just happened? You could have countered that kick in your sleep!”

 _Should_ have countered it, M’gann thought, feeling a bruise starting to build up where she’d taken the hit. It prickled along her face and a part of her arm that hadn’t moved fast enough to make a proper block. Even after a nights sleep, she still didn’t feel right, her responses dulled and half awake.

“I’m fine.” She could still lie convincingly, even though the words burned on her tongue. At least part of that was true, as her skin started to absorb the damage, work any bruising out and replacing damaged cells. By the time she pushed herself onto her arms, it was just a faint echo. By then some of that fog in Conner’s mind was clearing up, enough for him to reach down to her. When she took Conner’s hand with a small _‘don’t worry about it’_ thought and smile, she couldn’t even pick out any hurt beyond a light buzz.

Robin looked between the two of them, still with that slight downturn in his mouth that M’gann had learned meant he wasn’t fully satisfied.

“It’s nothing.” She assured both of them. “I’m just,” Slow. Not put together right. “Still worn out. That fight in Qurac took a lot out of me.”

They never got the chance to continue that conversation, once the intercom buzzed to life and Batman’s voice gave orders for the team to assemble. M’gann thought for a moment on changing her clothing back to white and blue, before deciding that if there was a mission, black would work just as well.

She was right on both counts. It was a mission, given via screen once they all assembled in the command room. And while her skin might have twitched and chaffed under all that covering, M’gann firmly told it that this was the best clothing to wear for the situation.

The mission parameters scrolled past her eyes and through her ears, a few of the important parts sticking in place. Disaster keeping the League occupied, an escaped prototype from some subsidiary of a company starting with ‘L’…The part about the head researcher borrowing heavily from Ivo caused her to start for a moment.

It would be alright, she reminded herself. They had nearly a full team there, all of them rested and ready. (A little part of her also liked to think that those cookies from last night would help as well; she’d made them with plenty of chocolate for energy.) Even if she was still feeling off balance, as a group they could handle this.

-o-o-o-

They are all aware now. M’gann feels the press of their thoughts as those who can, pull themselves to their feet. The thoughts that had been drowned out by the fight, emotions that were flowing wide around her through the mind link, all suddenly come crashing in around her.

She tries to remember last evening; calling up those smiles when she brought the cookies out, the sensation of sitting among the entire team and soaking in their warmth-

What she feels instead is the hammering of confusionshock _FEAR_ radiating off of them. It cuts into her, cold and harsh in a way that drags her to the ground, sinking to her knees as a heavy knot settles into her chest. As she crumbles to the floor she can just see the team. Their body language is tense, even though the battle is over. ( _’I won it for you’_ she wants to say to them, but her thoughts can barely hold against the barrage, and her throat won’t work.) Zatanna cradles her arm, holding it tight against her body, while Artemis throws whatever is left of her bonds to the floor and backs away. Wally simply stares at her, and Conner... 

Superboy is in front of them all, is pushing himself up, and her neck doesn’t listen to her or let her turn away.

He is looking at her, with his face a near mirror to that bewildered expression she’d seen just a few hours ago in the training room. Trying to process what it is he sees…And she knows that it should take just a heartbeat, maybe even less for him to make that transition into disgust.

Further away there is a low gasp, as that barb gets yanked free from Kaldur’s skin. Followed by Robin muttering something under his breath as he leans over the leader and tosses the weapon aside. His thoughts are running together into a solid force of focus-on-THIS-thing-first, and getting the few bits of first aid out from his utility belt. Anything dealing with her is blocked out, and in a two-hearts wrenching way M’gann is glad for that.

Her face isn’t meant for crying the same way a human one is, skin stretched too thin over the head, eyes that can close but are not capable of weeping. But all the same, she can feel a mournful, wailing keen start to build in her throat and her mind. Her eyes go shut, to block out having to look at everyone as she catches the first flashes of alarm darting across Artemis’ face, the confusion spreading through Zatanna’s eyes, fear settling across Wally’s shoulders and neck. She can still feel the mental hammering of _can’tbe-whatis-STAYBACK-M’gann,_

 _“M’gann.”_ She freezes…All of her, thoughts, muscles; all of it freezes when that name and thought brushes against her a second time. Conner’s voice isn’t harsh, isn’t violent, doesn’t even have a trace of disgust. It sounds stunned, but…She keeps her eyes shut, waiting for the other blow to fall and praying that it won’t hurt as much as she imagines.

 _‘No,’_ Her own mental voice feels fragile in the face of everyone’s thoughts, an echo for how the rest of her suddenly feels. She quivers, shoulders shaking as that keen leaks through her thoughts and out of her throat. _‘Don’t-‘_

She feels a warm, gentle pressure against the plate of her forehead that cuts all of that short. Her first heart dilates, and before the second can continue the pulse, there’s a similar touch moving up, across her neck.

Conner. M’gann opens her eyes to see his neck in front of her vision, and he pulls his lips away from her forehead so he can look right at her…And there is a calmness in his eyes that is so far removed from the glare M’gann always imagined, that it makes a different sort of pressure close on her chest. The feeling squeezes tight and painful enough that she almost wants to look away. Before she can act on that he draws his hand up to the base of her neck, and keeps it there to hold her steady.

M’gann tenses up, waiting to feel his emotions burn at her as she forces that link wide open and reaches out with her thoughts; her arms stay paralyzed and just barely holding her up. When she tries to cast out a message to him, she wonders if he can even hear that whisper of a thought.

_‘This is…What I am.’ _What. She can’t keep the thought from escaping; she doesn’t deserve ‘who’, that ‘what’ was the only way to describe her.__

_“You are M’gann.”_ On the heels of that is a slight shove at the back of her mind, trying to steer her thoughts towards better memories; when she threw too many ingredients at once at his head and tried to mop it up; the times spent watching a movie together or sitting side by side in class with a slight telepathic brush between them; the way her voice fills up any room they’re in when they talk, and edges out any morose thoughts in his own head. Even the memory of when she saved him in Bialya, still so vivid in Conner’s mind that M’gann can taste the crackle of electricity coating her throat and trying to stop her…His heart.

 _“You are M’gann.”_ He repeats that again for emphasis. Loud, certain, to keep it planted in her head.

And then followed by a quiet, almost nervous _”And I love you.”_ Like he’s afraid it won’t cut through her emotions and stay rooted, that he isn’t even thinking it right. His thoughts are usually strong, forthright; hearing them waver rarely happens, if ever. There’s also a sense of him reaching for her, the same way she’d cautiously touched his own mind. When she hears _don’t push me away_ whispered in her head, M’gann is not fully sure which of them thought it. As an accent for that thought, she can feel his arm rest across her shoulders, navigating over the thick muscle and flaps of skin; somehow he manages to make something clumsy and awkward to hug feel almost _normal-_

 _“You **are.** No matter what.”_

M’gann lets her breath out, and moves close to him.

Her body listens to her, and doesn't fight when she tries to switch; the muscles on her back flow into a softer, less angular shape, the same as the form of her face, while her hair fans out from her scalp. All the while, Conner's touch somehow encourages the transition to go faster. Her arms shorten up as she reaches for Conner, and she feels herself shift back into a smaller form so it's easier for them to fit together. Her skin, though...She doesn't will that to go back to green, and lets it stay chalky pale, and a sharp contrast to the black of her clothing. She keeps her hearts separate as well, given how hard they are pounding in her chest. When she blinks her eyes open to look back up at Conner, the irises stay bright red.

His thoughts remain the same, calm with the same strong grip as his hands on her shoulders. His eyes, on the other hand, are giving her a slightly curious, slightly confused look. There is a slight undercurrent of that emotion building in his thoughts as well, wondering if he didn't properly express how he loves her either way.

"I know. But I can't hug very well with my other arms." She offers, almost shyly, before he has the chance to ask out loud. M’gann tightens her hands around his back and pulls herself close to prove the point. Conner feels warm and solid against her, and she rests her head against his chest to absorb that sensation of steadiness.

“M’gann,” Kaldur’s voice cuts in, and she turns to look back towards the rest of the team. At least as much as she can without fully letting go of Superboy; one of her hands drifts down to his waist, while the other stays resting on his shoulder. Aqualad watches her with solemn eyes. M’gann can see the gash in his side is already patched over, which gives her another quick rush of relief. “I am grateful for what you did. But I would like to know-“

“Why?” Robin cuts in, before catching himself and glancing at Kaldur. At Kaldur’s nod, Robin continues. “Why didn’t you tell us the truth? Something like…“

To her own shock, words seem to fail him for once, and Robin has to gesture to the wrecked remains of their target, and a glance at how pale she is now. It still gets the point across. “It’s something we should know about.”

There’s a low thrum from Zatanna, and M’gann can hear a thought of ‘give her some space’ starting to take shape. She doesn’t want there to be a hint of a fight; her emotions and thoughts still feel raw, almost too raw to weather any of that.

So instead she closes her eyes, and forces her hearts to stay calm as she digs through her memories.

And then she finds them; those phantoms, Psimon’s cruel voice echoing as she watches her friends recoil, the crushing disappointment as the League looks down on her, the dusty and lonely red hills of Mars, and…Her breath comes out in a sob as she hears Conner’s voice again, but she grabs onto that as well. And then casts them out into the open, as if she could throw them clear out of her mind.

She lets them see all of it, but tries to keep her own emotions clamped down and in her own head. Although when Conner’s arms squeeze tight around her again, she has to wonder how shaken up her control is.

“…Oh.” Is Robin’s only response. Kaldur manages to be a bit more eloquent when he steps closer, and now M’gann can see a touch of softness to that measured, careful gaze of his. His thoughts churn beneath all that, though; a chaotic, almost confused undertow that she carefully treads around.

“You are one of our team, regardless. I…Will need to think on this, but I wish to make that clear.” She doesn’t have words for the emotion that floods through her then; gratitude, relief, something that squeezes tight on one heart while tugging hard on the other. She still tries to send a little of it towards him, just a slight taste to convey everything. His only response is a nod, but it’s enough.

Over his shoulder she can just see Wally, further back, blanching when he hears his own voice yelling for her to stay back; he's almost a match for her in how pale he looks, or how his eyes are starting to look a bit red. He blinks them, and turns away so he isn't facing the rest of the team.

Robin is one of the few who notices, and gives a low "KF?"

"Y-yeah. I'm fine...Just need a minute."

 _“Sorry, Megs.”_ When he speaks into her mind his voice sounds less choked up, but still seems to tremble a bit. _“Really, really sorry. I didn't mean it like that. Ever.”_

A pause, and then a surprisingly quiet _“...Still friends?”_

 _'Always.'_ For what it's worth, her own mental voice is a near match for his when it comes to being shaky. He still isn't facing her, but she hopes that he can still feel the smile in her thoughts; it’s a little watery, but still sincere.

She blinks for a moment when Artemis moves forwards, and shivers when the other girl quietly draws a hand through her hair and over her neck; it’s a soft, light touch. The archer’s middle and index fingers have a slight callus on them, but it takes nothing out of the reassurance. If anything, that and Conner finding her hand with his makes M’gann feel more grounded.

“You trust her, right?” Artemis’ voice has a slight undercurrent of ‘you damn well BETTER say yes’ as she glances between Robin and Kaldur. And as they both give a quiet “yes” M’gann can see some of the tension leak out of her friend’s shoulders.

“…Good.” M’gann can hear something of Artemis –not specific thoughts, but more of a network of emotion- buzzing loud, nervous. Until she looks back at M’gann and seems to draw some calmness and confidence from watching her. Her friend’s thoughts ease out, and settle into a pattern that is less jittery and more decisive.

“…Can we head back?” There is a roughness in her voice that M’gann has since tied to being emotional. Like allowing feeling into her words is somehow harsh on her throat and tongue. “I’ve got…Something I might as well talk about too.”

 _“And if I’m going to talk about it, it’s going to be with OUR base and my room close on hand.”_ M’gann isn’t certain she was supposed to pick that up, but gives Artemis a smile anyway. The more she gives them now, the more solid they feel.

Something warm and soft bumps against her hip, and in the corner of her eye she can see a now standing Wolf brushing against Conner as well. Followed by a low “hnff” and a lick on her hand.

She thinks that if even Wolf, still bruised and sore, can manage a wet dog kiss for her and Conner, maybe she can face whatever will come next after all. She is not alone, with Conner’s arm still wrapped around her shoulders, and a low soft hum of background noise in her mind that affirms, yes, she still is one of them.

M’gann’s fingers, pale and slender against Conner’s, stay intertwined the entire trip back to the base.


End file.
